Topic of the Month

Topic of the Month

Dealing with Holiday Stress

Some Helpful Hints for College Students

Many people experience intense feelings during the holiday season. It is that time of the year that tends to stimulate feelings associated with past memories and expectations. It is also that time of the year for family gatherings and the feelings associated with being or not being with your family. The extremes of the holiday season (i.e., food, drink, feelings, expectations, and memories) create an atmosphere for feeling stress. This brochure briefly describes some of the stresses one might feel during the holiday season and gives some helpful hints to deal with the stress.

Stresses Associated With the Holiday Season

  • Lack of money to buy gifts
  • Not feeling as "jolly" as the media tells you and shows us we outght to feel during the holidays
  • Feeling yourself experience the holidays differently as you grow older
  • Having to deal with the dynamics of your family when you go home
  • Overindulgence of food and liquor
  • Feeling rushed to get everything done (i.e., shopping, studying, baking)
  • Feelings about friends and family not present during holiday celebrations
  • Feelings about commercialism of the holiday
  • Fear of not celebrating the holiday the way you want

Helpful Hints:

Try something new: For those of you who are not looking forward to going home and dealing with some of the hassles at home, start to think about how you won't let yourself get "hooked" into past ways of dealing with your parents and siblings.

For example...

  • Write the ways that you predict that person(s) at home will "bug" you.
  • Say to yourself: "I am not going to let that person have the power over me to interfere with my much deserved break."
  • Write the ways you can respond to the problem differently thatn you have in the past that would allow you to feel better about yourself while you are at home.

To help you clarify and become aware of what you want out of the holiday season (i.e., relaxation, a conversation with your brother, spiritual connection, etc.) and how you want to feel during the season (thankful, forgiving, happy, extroverted, introverted). Write down the answers to such questions as:

  1. What are my expectations for the holiday season?
  2. What do I want out of the holiday season?
  3. How do I want to feel during the holiday season?
  4. What do I need to do to meet those expectations?
  5. How do I want to feel when my expectations are not met?

What Are My Expectations for the Holiday Season?

The best way to assure that you will feel rushed is to procrastinate and get everything done (gift buying, telephone calls, cards, making plans) the day before the holiday. Try to enter the specific holiday (Christmas, New Year's) feeling relaxed, comforatable and ready to enjoy what it is that you are going to do. Give yourself some breathing room. The more stressed and rushed you feel, the more likely it is that you will have a hard time getting into the spirit of the occasion.

The Holidays: A Time for Giving and Receiving

If you are feeling down or anxious because you don't have the funds and/or the time to buy or make the type of gifts you think your family and friend would like, remember this:

  • One way to be a meaningful giver is to be an excellent receiver.
  • Thoughtfulness and thankfulness are ways to be a meaningful giver, which others will appreciate.
  • Do what you can. There is no need to apologize for yourself; that will only distract you from what you are giving or receiving.

Feeling Depressed

Many people feel depressed at some time during the holiday season. Many time it is the anticipation of the holidays being over, going back to school, finals, etc. The best way to deal with your feelings is to talk with someone about how and what you are feeling. Holding your feelings usually creates more tension and discomfort.

General Coping Mechanisms to Help Deal With the Holiday Season

Create Realistic Expectations

For Example: "It's okay that I don't always feel joyous during the holiday season. Sometimes I may feel disappointed, sad, angry, and depressed."

Plan Ahead

If it is really important that you do something special on New Year's Eve, plan ahead, take the risk and reach out to those you want to be with. Don't wait for somebody to ask you to do something if your expectations are high.

In conclusion, holiday stress cannot be eliminated, only managed. Take care of yourself.

You deserve it!

Helpful Link: www.apahelpcenter.org/articles/article.php?id=149

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Dealing with Holiday Stress